Chris McLean: (He walks in front of the camera, Wonderland in the background) Yo! We’re coming to you live from the newest location in the Total Drama series, Wonderland Amusement Park! (He makes his way into the park, with Chef Hatchet guarding the gates) Here we’ll see the game of 20 brand new contestants battle it out in four teams of five split into colours; Red, Yellow, Green and Blue. (The camera has switched to Chris standing in front of the campfire pit) In these designated teams the contestants will compete together in challenges set every three days where the losing team will go to the original Bonfire Ceremony where the person who receives the most votes must immediately leave Wonderland via The Ride of Shame (Chris appears in front of a poorly made rollercoaster with a chair on the runway that has no safety harnesses. The track itself goes high into the air, which then plummets back down to Earth with a flick at the end that is cut off, sending the eliminated contestant flying out of here). At some point in the game the teams will dissolve and the remaining ten contestants must fight for survival, but individually. Upon reaching the finale, the final two will battle it out in the most outrageous challenge ever to win the prize everyone is after, a check worth one million dollars (He holds up a big check with multiple dollar signs on it, plus his signature). I guess that’s the ground rules, who’s ready for the new season of Total Drama? (He chuckles) Well I guess that’s it. Get ready for one heck of a season on… Wonderland! (The theme begins to play)
(After the theme)
Chris McLean: Welcome back to Wonderland! We’re moments away from revealing the new contestants who will be arriving on a small tour bus driven by Chef, as you can see (He points behind him, at the position where Chef Hatchet was standing earlier). Oh and by the way, as a surprise for the new batch of contestants there will be a challenge today which will determine their teams; Green, Blue, Yellow and Red and how they'll actually be split into them will be announced later in the episode... (The sound of a broken engine is heard, getting louder and louder as it gets nearer) Here’s the bus with the first set of victims, (He clears his throat and quickly corrects himself) I mean contestants; Karrueche, Imogen, Lucian and Willow!
Karrueche: (She opens her arms in a hugging gesture and runs towards Chris) Hi Chris! It’s so good to be here.
Lucian: Yes it is and nice work with the amusement park, dude. It looks like a lot of fun.
Chris McLean: What? You think we made it? (He laughs out loud, making Lucian feel uncomfortable)
Willow: Well obviously you didn’t. It’s Wonderland Amusement Park, it’s the theme park that shutdown because one of the rollercoaster’s rails literally broke in two whilst people were riding it, Which sent it flying high into the air and killing all eight passengers aboard. (The camera is snatched off the cameraman so that it was focusing on Chris.)
Chris McLean: (He begins to whisper) She’s on about the Ride of Shame. (The camera then refocuses onto the contestants)
Imogen: So is that area off limits then? (She asks, aiming the question at Chris)
Chris McLean: Well yes, all the other rides are safe to go on. (He winks at the camera, referencing the show’s exit) But that doesn’t mean this shows just all fun and games, you’re all here trying to win a million dollars so obviously we, meaning me and the producers, aren’t going to make this easy on you.
Imogen: Thanks I guess. (She and the others all look disappointed as the roar of an engine is heard once again)
Chef Hatchet: Here are four more you ordered (He smiles very creepily at Chris who does the same back)
Chris McLean: Why thank you Chef, here’s Nicholas, Shanna, Lauren and Rhys!
Shanna: Hey my girl, how y’all doin’? I’m Shanna. (She introduces, hugging Karrueche, Imogen and Willow. Before noticing Lucian) Oh this is my kind of game show! How’s it going my brother?
Lucian: It’s going good. (Lucian returns the hug even more enthusiastically)
Nicholas: I guess the ghettos are going to stick together hmm? (He says it in a posh American accent but receives dirty looks from both of them) I’ll just shut up…
Rhys: I suggest you shouldn’t make enemies too early otherwise you’re a goner. (Rhys says to an annoyed Nicholas)
Lauren: Oh yeah cause the pretty boy knows all. (Lauren replies to him. Before walking past him with a dirty look on her face)
Rhys: It’s not that I know for sure, it's just logic…
Lauren: (She turns to look at him) Yeah sure.
Chris McLean: Okay guys calm it down, it’s only episode one and there’s still twelve people to come yet… (The sound of an engine is heard)
Chef Hatchet: Here’s four more (He chuckles)
Chris McLean: Alright! Here are Paisley, Makosi, Spencer and Harley! (The camera pans over to the door of the bus as the four steps off one by one)
Paisley: Hey Chris, and the rest of you. (She waves to the eight others stood in front of the tall iron gates, with a welcoming smile on her face)
Lucian: Ah hell yeah, we got some badass on the show! (He refers to Harley, whilst holding out his hand)
Harley: What? No, no, no… I’m no bad-ass; I’m more unique I don’t think being a word artist comes with the job of badass on the side. I have to be influential on the younger generation with my words not to follow the life of crime. Which as I can tell from you becomes a hard life. (He grabs his luggage and walks past a gobsmacked Lucian, towards the others)
Lucian: It’s not that bad a life… (He kicks the dirt in humiliation) Well here’s someone who might know what I’m going through (He turns to Makosi)
Makosi: What so because we’re both black we’re “ghetto” now or from “the hood”? (She sighs) Were you planning on making the contestants get even more uneducated each season? (She looks at Chris who’s playing with his hair.)
Chris McLean: No, he just seemed special, is all.
Paisley: Wait why is it a creepy looking amusement park? (Paisley looks confused)
Makosi: (Face palms) It said- (She is cut off by Spencer)
Spencer: It said on the application form that the location of the newest season will be at an abandoned amusement park and seriously it is a little obvious in the title as well? (He says it to Paisley who nods at him. Then the sound of an engine is heard once again)
Chris McLean: So now that we’ve finally figured out where we all are staying, here’s the next batch of contestants; Ollie, Frankie, Brett and Jessica! (He says as the bus pulls to a screeching Holt and the doors swing open either side. All four of them step off the bus and observe their surroundings)
Ollie: Seems legit, but where’s our accommodation?
Frankie: Exactly what I was thinking. (He says, just briefly lifting his head from his handheld console he’s playing)
Chris McLean: Oh I’ll explain after the challenge (A curious look appears on his face)
Jessica: Let me guess, you’re going to make us search for our rooms after you divide us into our teams?
Chris McLean: After the first challenge (He corrects and admits)
Jessica: There you go, that’s your answer (She smiles at Ollie and walks to the rest of the contestants. He smiles back briefly)
Lucian: What’s up my homie? (He does an arm gesture replicating a fist bump towards Brett)
Shanna: Oh my God, just because we’re black doesn’t mean we’re from the hood...
Brett: Yes because I’m not ghetto. I’m from Glen Falls in New York (He stares down at a terrified Lucian)
Lucian: Which is ghetto country… right? (He asks as Brett still looks down to him)
Makosi: Wow Chris! Where did you find this one? (Makosi says as Brett shakes his head at Lucian)
Chris McLean: Off the streets in “Ghetto Country” (He smiles as the final roar of the engine is heard). Here are the final four contestants… Olivia, Topher, Carter and Esther!
Topher: Oh my God, Chris! What’s happening?! (Topher shouts directly at Chris, before running and jumping onto him.)
Chris McLean: Topher, Welcome! And I’m introducing the contestants as you can see! (He states the obvious. Chris begins glaring at him because he’s still holding onto him) Are you about finished?
Topher: Sorry dude! I’m just so psyched! (He puts Chris down back onto the pavement)
Esther: LAUGH OUT LOUD! This is totally going in my scrapbook to take back home, because I’m originally from England but I currently live in Chicago. (She pulls out a camera from her suitcase)
Chris McLean: Who said you’re allowed to doc everything? I can just send you a DVD of the whole season if you want? All of you in fact! (Chris pulls out a copy of this seasons DVD, although it has no content on the disc)
Olivia: If that’s happening can I and my band make a theme song? A better one than ‘I Wanna Be Famous’ because I’m sure everybody’s just on the show for the prize money. (Her eyes grow wider as she stares at Chris)
Chris McLean: (He laughs) No! ‘I Wanna Be Famous’ has always been the theme song and always will be. So I’ll decline that offer.
Carter: Wait a second, you showed us the DVD but it won’t have any content on because we haven’t filmed all the episodes…
Chris McLean: Well done Carter for realising that, I’m sure it wasn’t that obvious… (He says the him with a sarcastic tone)
Chef Hatchet: (The sound of an engine is heard) Well that’s all of them Chris, where should I park the bus?
Chris McLean: Where you found it, seriously it’s like this show is full of morons!
Chef Hatchet: Who you calling a moron, Chris you know I will rip out your vocal cord if you carry on… And you know what I’m like when I’m angry!
Chris McLean: Okay easy now, we don’t want you to scare the newcomers. (He points to the crowd of contestants, all of them smirking)
Chef Hatchet: Well I’d rather do that cause then they know where I stand in the competition! Enough said (He pulls out the bus’ keys, climbs aboard and drives back in the direction he came).
Chris McLean: Wow what a douchebag.
Ollie: So um, Chris when is this gonna start?
Chris McLean: Oh yeah! Well then I guess we can all head inside! (He walks up to the large iron gates that block the contestants out of Wonderland, retrieves a key from his pocket and opens it up. The lock that was shutting the others out from the site falls to the ground and with a strong push both gates fly open) Welcome to Wonderland everyone!
(Cheers from the whole cast are heard)
Chris McLean: Okay so let's get down to business, before you enter Wonderland and have a proper look around, the first challenge must take place. All of you will race out from here and search the whole of Wonderland for a key that will open one of twenty chests, when you open the chest a coloured flag, either Green, Blue, Red or Yellow, will appear and that will be your team. But what you all don't know is that one team color is rigged and they will automatically be sent to the Bonfire Ceremony where the person with the highest amount of votes must immediately take the Ride of Shame, got it? (Murmured yes' and ok's are heard) Alright let's get down to business!
(Just then the screen goes black, and in bold white writing is 'To Be Continued' before it turns to static, then credits begin to roll)